A few days ago I was asked this seemingly simple question, "How do you become happy?" I couldn't provide an answer other than a vague 'I don't know'. Not because I truly am not happy myself, because I am now. I really at the moment just didn't know how to answer the question. Honestly this question had to be broken down. I mean, you have to first ask, 'What is happiness?' Google defines it as the state of being happy and the term happy itself is defined as feeling or showing pleasure. But that definition has nothing to do with me or anyone who wants to become happy. Because true happiness is not a simple definition, it's experience, its triumphs , its lessons you learn once you fail, it's believing in the power of yourself even in times of adversity. Its pushing on even when you want to give up. It's falling in love, it's getting that new job-starting a new career even. Happiness is standing outside during the last final moments of a sunset, when the sky is purple and orange. Happiness is watching your favorite person succeed and happiness is learning new things about yourself. And happiness is really more than all of this even, {you can insert whatever makes you happy here}.
Now we all know what happiness is to us.The second part of breaking this question down is important and it's where things get tricky. We now have to learn how to BECOME happy. How to constantly keep our spirits and mindsets open enough to place ourselves in positions to be happy. Because the climate of the world is really negative right now, and isn't happy all the time (I'm going to spare details here because this post isn't supposed to be depressing but we all can probably insert a situation that is less than ideal). A lot of us are hurting and looking for that happiness and it's hard when everywhere seems so full of hate and judgement and struggle. So how do we still do this, how do we become happy? Well I had to think about this in order to write about it and I broke it down to this bullet list below:
You have to understand that you are not nor will ever be perfect so you can not expect that out of yourself. If you do this now, stop doing it, because I guarantee you it's providing you more stress than anything else. Instead you must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. You have to be comfortable with learning more and not knowing everything. You have to become comfortable with failure...because these things will provide knowledge via experience, which will provide you with opportunity, and hence make you more happy because you are now in places you want to be in.
You have to stop caring about negativity. Be aware of it, try to limit it in your life and the lives of others. Be that positive change but in the process you can't let negativity consume you. Those social media images, and unrealistic expectations, and unwanted negative stigmas that you have given yourself or allowed others to place on you, does not define you. It isn't real. You are your own person period! You have a path and a story different than the next persons. Don't get hung up on that negativity and focus hard on your progress and you will soon find happiness in yourself.
Do what you want. Not what your parents think you should do, not what you believe will make you more money or provide more fame and/or notoriety. DO what makes you happy, do what you like, do what you are interested in. You'll find more pleasure in your life and more fulfillment especially when you are excelling in something you wanted to do.
Remember earlier when I said you must be comfortable with being uncomfortable? This tip kind of plays on that :Take a chance. You will never be able to grow and figure out what you like unless you step out of what your norms are. You have to network and meet new people and see different perspectives, which only happens if you put yourself out there. No matter what, as long as you're safe, put yourself out there find new things that you may enjoy.
Yes there will be times when you are not happy at that moment, but you have to practice refocus when this happens. Meditate, draw, listen to music, take a walk, treat yourself but get back to the positive vibe you need in your life.
The last way to stay happy is to simply focus on your present. Stop worrying and overthinking about things that has either already happened or never happened. I don't know who needs to hear this but, you can't change your past and you can't predict your future. So why are you wasting your time stressing about and putting yourself in a more negative and closed off state? Enjoy your present moment! Keep pushing forward and keep moving towards what you want.
So yeah, that's some of the things I came up with to become happy. Staying happy is up to you. You surrounding yourself with positive vibes and staying focused on what is truly important to you is how you will stay happy no matter the failure or hardship. No matter what is happening around you if you remember these tips and stay consistent, you can become one with yourself and your happiness. To the person who is reading this now: you are capable of a better life. A more joyous and prosperous future is right around the corner waiting for you. And I pray your life is full of overfills of blessings and positive behavior. I pray you to radiate confidence and beauty and pray you are brought only good things to your life.
Copyright©Naava Dae 2019
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